Asking the Right Questions

First, let me start off by saying that everyone should have someone that they can ask any question to and discuss any topic with.

Whether that’s a partner, a best friend, a bartender, whatever.

I’ve found that the more you start talking about the things you really care and wonder about, the more people you tend to find that are willing to talk about it with you.

I’m lucky to have several people in my life that I can be fully authentic with (but wow did that take some practice to get there.)

One comment that my best friend has always said is how easily I can communicate with my Spirit Guides.

And not just my own!

At one point I was talking to his guides and he was just a little frustrated that I was communicating with them when they were “giving him the cold shoulder”.

(They weren’t really… more on that later.)

I told him all the different ways I talk to my spirit guides (and other people’s) but it never quite clicked.

Then one day he asked me why I thought his spirit guides were being extra quiet lately (again).

I asked what the topic of conversation had been about.

He listed off a series of questions that made no sense.

Of course his guides weren’t saying anything!

They made no sense for several reasons.

1. They were questions he already knew the answer to and was avoiding.

2. They were questions that didn’t matter to the current situation.

3. He’d repeated the question over and over, waiting for a response, rather than moving on to the next one. (He didn’t take the hint).

There’s no such thing as a stupid question, but I will say that there can be wrong questions.

And that’s not to say that someone else’s guides might answer the “wrong” questions.

In his case, the silence was louder than the actual answer.

Specifically, he was asking for the meaning behind an event that didn’t actually affect him. 

The meaning behind the event didn’t change his outcome or his decision on how to move forward. 

And while his guides could have told him that… They instead remained silent (which he called the cold shoulder).

He followed up with a string of other questions that he already knew the answer to, and I told him as much.

He was just afraid of what the consequences might be for his next actions.

And this doesn’t just apply to spirit guides.

The same ideas would apply to tarot or any other psychic reading.

When I first started practicing with tarot, I was guilty of the same mistake.

Asking questions and pulling cards based on the wrong questions.

I would get answers that didn’t always quite make sense.

I could rationalize them, but sometimes they just felt off.

But then I would ask a good question and the cards would spill every detail.

Here are some “rules” (very loose ones) on how to determine if your question is a good one.

• Does your best friend already know the answer?

  • If that’s a yes, then it’s not a good question. If your best friend (or partner or family member) could answer it for you, then it means that you’ve just been avoiding the question. Pulling a card, asking your guides, or asking a psychic isn’t going to change the answer to the one you might “want”.

• Does it directly affect you?

  • I’ve found that when asking about things that don’t directly affect me, the answers get a little wonky or I struggle to make sense of them. Specifically when I’m doing a reading for myself and asking about situations that don’t apply to me, even if it feels like it.

  • An example being something like, “Why did my favorite coworker just quit?” 99% of the time, I’m going to bet that the answer has nothing to do with you. They just found a better opportunity with another company. Or they won the lottery! Either way, it doesn’t actually have anything to do with you.

• Will the answer empower you?

  • This sort of piggybacks off the last check. If the answer isn’t going to empower you to make a decision, then what’s the point of asking?

  • Even a sad answer can be empowering. I’m not suggesting that everything has to feel good. 

  • For example, finding out your partner is cheating can be extremely hurtful and disappointing, but it can also empower you to finally break out of a toxic relationship once and for all.

• Is this a repeat question for a repeat issue?

  • Be honest with yourself, are you asking the question again to try and get a different answer, or one you like more?

  • If you’re repeatedly asking the same question and not taking action on the last answer, then there’s a deeper block that needs to be uncovered. Maybe that should be the next question you ask… “What’s the real block for me in this situation?”

  • This is especially tough when something keeps repeating itself. If you’ve been passed up for promotion several times and keep asking the question and keep getting the same answers… It’s probably time for a bigger change than waiting for the next promotion opportunity.

It’s taken me years to get to a point of asking good questions consistently… And I still find myself occasionally asking the tarot things these kinds of things.

A few takeaways - 

1. ALWAYS trust your intuition. Even when being guided to what question to ask. This will help you in self readings and reading with other people.

2. Take time to ask yourself “why” before you ask a question. Why are you asking it? Why do you want to know the answer? If the answer is to “be empowered”, then you’re on the right track.

3. Listen to the silence. Whether it’s your guides being quiet or the tarot cards giving a weird answer, pay attention to the silence. That can be a strong giveaway that you’re asking a question that doesn’t need to be asked.

4. Ask for help. It could be from a friend, family, or even a therapist. Having an outside perspective can help you to figure out easy answers that you might be missing.

The Teach Yourself Tarot coaching program allows for you to practice your readings and try new things with a little bit of 1 on 1 guidance. We work together to make sure you’re asking the right questions to make empowered decisions!

If you’re curious about it, text me! (‪602-492-3795‬)
Email works too 🤗 [email protected]

Now go ask some good questions!